


Brand New Eyes

by Goodnight_Sweetheart



Category: Ouran High School Host Club - All Media Types
Genre: Coming Out, Coming of Age, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Kaoru is Tamaki's new favourite child!, Kaoru queer eyes the host club?, M/M, Tamaki actually being useful and a good father figure, Well his favorite non-daughter child really, it's more likely than you'd think
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-02
Updated: 2020-03-01
Packaged: 2021-02-27 16:08:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,787
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22079707
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Goodnight_Sweetheart/pseuds/Goodnight_Sweetheart
Summary: Kaoru braces for impact, eyes firmly averted to the floor as he avoids the wide eyes and intense gaze of the short-circuiting blonde before him. This is exactly why Kaoru had avoided bringing up his not-quite-a-secret to anyone but Hikaru; it’s anyone’s guess how his blond senpai’s sheltered upbringing and staunchly traditional romantic leanings will color his view of Kaoru’s confession.“This is justー amazing, mon fils! Exactly what the club and moi need to figure out the best way to keep our princesses happy!”Kaoru slowly lifts his gaze from the shining tile only to find himself drowning in two huge pools of indigo gleaming joyfully out of that familiarly grinning face. Well, this isn’t quite what Kaoru had expected...Basically, Tamaki learns that Kaoru is attracted to boys (well, to his Kyouya-senpai specifically), and the rest is history.
Relationships: Hitachiin Hikaru & Hitachiin Kaoru, Hitachiin Kaoru & Ootori Kyouya, Hitachiin Kaoru & Suoh Tamaki, Hitachiin Kaoru/Ootori Kyouya, Ootori Kyouya & Suoh Tamaki
Comments: 54
Kudos: 221





	1. Little Differences

Hikaru and Kaoru were well-past the point of freaking out over all their little differences, thank-you-very-much.

Sure, there had been that one incident when they were nine, when Hikaru had tried to put white-out over all the beauty marks Kaoru had that he didn’t, and then used sharpie all over his own face to emulate the freckles his younger twin had that he didn’t share.

And yeah, they might have gotten a bit carried away that one summer when they were eleven, when Kaoru insisted it wasn’t fair that Hikaru only had two mosquito bites while he had five, and they slathered the older twin’s ankles in maple syrup to give the universe a helping hand.

...Okay fine, there may have been a certain vacation spent at a lake house not all that long ago, when both boys were fourteen, where Hikaru got a little overly concerned that his brother would end up noticeably tanner than himself if he spent so much time reading outside. Kaoru wasn’t all that thrilled about his twin imposing a time limit on his daily sun intake, but they managed to settle on the compromise that every fifteen minutes, Hikaru would come find him and flip him over like a burger, so the tan would be in small amounts all over instead of just really concentrated on his face in a way that Hikaru wouldn’t be able to match at all.

But they were sixteen now!! And much more mature (and independent!) than the Hikaru-and-Kaoru of the past, who tried to deliberately catch each other’s germs when one twin was sick and the other wasn’t. In fact, both twins actually thought it was pretty fun now to discover all the little differences they’d never previously explored, like Kaoru’s ability to speak French like a near-native after only a year of lessons, and Hikaru’s freaky predisposition for math that made him actually like calculus class.

Which is why, at the very grown-up age of sixteen, and with very different yet equally fabulous and sophisticated hairstyles, hair colors, and fashion senses to outwardly tell them apart, Kaoru didn’t freak out when he discovered probably the biggest difference between him and his brother yet.

(Okay, maybe he did a little. But he had good reason!)

It was a warm autumn day in the third music room, one of the last truly cozy days left before the arrival of the colder winter winds. Kaoru sent Hikaru off to the car without him (since that is a very reasonable and mature thing for a younger brother to do when only one twin still has business to take care of!) and lingered in the club room, hoping to catch their club’s vice president after he changed out of the day’s costume.

“Kyouya-senpai?” Kaoru called out, walking closer to the dressing rooms. “I have some mock ups of the designs for next week, if you want to see them.” Kaoru was really proud of them, too, as Kyouya had specifically gone to Kaoru himself (not to Hikaru-and-Kaoru, or to Kaoru-first-but-Hikaru-too, but to Kaoru-and-Kaoru-alone) to ask for unique designs for a fantasy Alice in Wonderland theme. “I wanted to show them to you as soon as… possible...”

Kaoru stopped in front of the sole occupied dressing room, attention immediately locking on to the sizeable gap between the curtain and wall that left half of a delightfully muscular, toned back visible to the younger twin. Kaoru stopped short in front of it, feeling suddenly flushed and not daring to draw any closer.

_It’s not like this is anything different from normal,_ Kaoru assured himself mentally. _He’s worn costumes that have left him shirtless before… and it’s his fault for not closing the curtain all the way!_ But despite his own reassurances, Kaoru found himself rooted to the spot, any ability to move either closer or further away from his shirtless senpai failing him.

“Is that so?” Kyouya asked softly, voice just barely audible as he stood faced away from Kaoru and began folding the ornate costume shirt he had been wearing. “Knowing you, Kaoru, I have complete faith that your designs will be quite suited to the occasion. I don’t see a need for you to seek my approval on the matter, although I do appreciate the gesture.”

Kaoru’s breath left him a rush, mind reeling as his brain positively flooded with endorphins. Kyouya was really confident in Kaoru’s designs, wasn’t heー And okay, was it just Kaoru’s imagination, or were Kyouya-senpai’s biceps like a lot nicer than he had ever given him credit for? Like, black-belt-in-taekwondo or professional-baseball-player nice?

“I… I’m glad you have so much faith in me, Kyouya-senpai,” Kaoru breathes, watching in something akin to disappointment as Kyouya pulled his uniform shirt back over his head and abruptly covered the view. Kaoru took the chance to abruptly step away and lean against the wall of another dressing room. He couldn’t really admit he had done anything wrong by appreciating his senpai’s surprisingly nice back-view, but he wasn’t about to give an Ootori any reason at all to potentially form a grudge against him. If anything, it was clear to Kaoru that the Shadow King was very physically fit and could more than hold his own in a fight… and ohmygod why was even that such an appealing concept all of a sudden?

“Kaoru.”

Kaoru shudders at his senpai’s low voice coming from such a close distance. He looks up to find Kyouya now opposite him, arms crossed casually against his chest as he leans against the wall of the dressing room he’s just emerged from. Kaoru can barely meet his eyes, still feeling weirdly off-kilter and not about to risk saying anything in his strange state. He chances a glance upward only to find that, _oh no!_ , Kyouya-senpai’s jacket is still off and the sight of his masculine biceps filling out the translucent sleeves of the Ouran uniform is really quite distracting and not helping Kaoru’s current state at allー

Kyouya raises an eyebrow at his silent underclassmen, his typically stoic expression giving off the impression of being very unamused even as that ever-so-slight curl at the corner of his lips suggests otherwise.

“I’m sorry, senpai,” Kaoru says inelegantly, arms coming up to wrap around himself as he averts his gaze from that handsome face. “I’mー not feeling so well, all of a sudden…” It isn’t exactly a revelation that he finds Kyouya good-looking; anyone with eyes would think the same. But this is the first time he’s ever felt anything like real attraction to his Kyouya-senpaiー or to anyone, really! And for it to happen so suddenly, in such an intense way, with another guy, and with his Kyouya-senpai, at that...

He’s being thrown an awful lot of curveballs this evening. He just wanted to show off to his senpai a little! Just because Kyouya put his faith into Kaoru for the costumes, and he worked really hard on the designs as a result. Kyouya-senpai is always putting his faith in Kaoru, like when he chose Kaoru to be his second-in-command for the sports festival. But now, it feels like Kaoru has no business even looking at Kyouya, much less pretending like everything is normal and chattering away about the designs. And all of a sudden, he really, really wants Hikaru...

“Kaoru,” Kyouya says his name slowly, enunciating each syllable with sharp precision. “I am going to call Hikaru. In the meantime, I expect you to lay down on the window seat and wait for him to arrive. Is that clear?”

Kaoru can only nod once before making his way to the third music room’s large bay windows. His senpai’s sharp and authoritative voice is sounding in the background, the familiarity comforting even as his body’s own reaction to it is unsettling. He’s really not one for dramatics, that’s Hikaru’s forte usually. And just because he’s never felt attracted to a man before, or to anyone really, doesn’t mean that he’s upset by this turn of events.

But he’s sixteen! Sixteen, damnit!! And to suddenly feel that raw, larger than life, move-like attraction for the first time in his lifeー to his favorite senpai…? It’s all that Kaoru can do to bring his hands up to his mouth and muffle his own groan. _Great, I managed to realize I like him and also look like a total idiot in front of him all at the same time!_ Kaoru’s cheeks flush as the low, masculine tones of Kyouya's ever-calm voice continue to wash over him in his embarrassingly useless state. _Hikaru is going to have a field day with this…_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so, this was really impulsive. But I realize I've never actually published anything I've written for these two, which is crazy considering how long I've shipped them! And I thought this would be a good project to just let myself get back to the root of messy, fun, unpretentious writing. Please leave feedback if you are so inclined!


	2. Is It True?!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is 2x as long as the first! That is the difference that you guys made by leaving your lovely and encouraging reviews!!

“You had toー toー” Hikaru sputters with laughter, clutching at his sides with such force that he’s doubled over “ーto _lay down_?”

“You know, you look like a hyena when you laugh like that.” Kaoru is utterly unamused with his older twin, already having gone over the story several times without any apparent decrease in Hikaru’s raucous laughter. “And it’s fitting for youー an ugly scavenger who likes to feast on the decaying carcass of my well-being. I should have just absorbed you in the womb and come out an only child,” Kaoru concludes.

Hikaru is still bent over and barely able to breathe through his amusement, but he does at least make an attempt at a glare. Kaoru refuses to dignify it with anything other than a roll of his eyes.

“...Okay fine, I’ll admit that it’s kind of funny,” Kaoru begins reluctantly, “but only because that one time Tamaki accidentally hit himself with Hani-senpai’s aikido staff, I watched Kyouya-senpai stare straight into Milord’s eyes as he was bleeding from the headー and then walk away.” Kaoru winces at the memory, his mind blanking out in an act of self-protection. There were many traits that Kaoru avidly admired in his Kyouya-senpai, but that had simply been cold-blooded. Completely understandable, though, as there wasn’t a single member of the club who hadn’t at least once been tempted to kill Tamaki themselves, but cold-blooded all the same. 

“I didn’t expect Kyouya-senpai to actually try and escort me to the car himself…” Kaoru trails off, flushing at the memory of his senpai’s open concern for him. His upperclassman’s altruistic act of helping Kaoru downstairs and to the car port has become a much-needed source of reassurance for Kaoru amidst his grappling with these newly-realized feelings.

“Ahh, sweet, naive, Kaoru!” Hikaru laments, still wiping wayward tears from his eyes as he lays a heavy hand on his younger twin’s head. “So innocent to the ways of this world! I can’t believe Kyouya-senpai of all people is who finally did it for you! You’re simply too precious!”

“And what exactly is that supposed to mean?” Kaoru huffs out, batting his brother’s hand away as he feels his defensiveness rise up. 

Hikaru snorts inelegantly, moving to sit on the side of the twins’ bed and gesturing to the empty space beside him in invitation. Kaoru reluctantly sits down beside the slightly older bane of his existence, side-eyeing him warily as he settles in for what seems like it will be a very long talk.

“Look, Kaoru, I’m not saying that Kyouya is a bad person,” Hikaru says in a surprisingly even tone of voice, all traces of earlier mirth having faded away. “And I’m not saying that I don’t like the thought of you being into him or even being with him, either...” He lays a reassuring hand on Kaoru’s knee, and the younger twin just knows that his brother’s next statement is going to be controversial at best. “But he’s just about as sexy as a walking corpse, and I’m pretty sure he’s more turned on by well-sourced statistics than by actual humans, ya feel me?”

It’s all that Kaoru can do to grab a pillow and bury his face in it to muffle the sudden scream that wells up in his throat. The last thing he needs is one or both Hitachiin parents rushing up stairs at the noise; he does not need to explain the whole mess of his crush on the host club’s Shadow King to his mom and dad.

“No, wait, I’m wrong,” Hikaru chokes out between amused laughter, “there are definitely vampires sexier than that guy. And unless you suddenly develop a kink for accounting or something, you have to admit that he’s really not thatー”

Kaoru whacks him with the pillow so hard that he can audibly hear the breath leave his brother’s body. Hikaru slumps sideways onto the bed with the force of it, and before he can even open his mouth to protest, Kaoru is already whacking away again at his prone form.

“He has plenty of fans at the club!” Kaoru points out indignantly, still taking advantage of Hikaru’s vulnerable position and managing to land hits to his traitorous hyena face. “And we talk a lot about analytics together, actually! Just because you can’t understand his appealー!” 

Hikaru takes the moment to rip the pillow away from Kaoru’s hands, aiming one solid hit at Kaoru’s face before tossing the pillow away and sliding closer to his brother. “I get it, Kaoru. Well, okay, I don’t exactly get it, but I get that you’re interested and I’m not objecting.” He looks a bit sheepish now, bringing a hand up to comb through the hair at the back of his head and levelling Kaoru with a soft smile. “Y’know, I’ve actually been preparing for this day for a while now. I knew I’d have to come to terms with what exactly your type is eventually… And I’m not really worried now that I know it’s accountants with glasses.”

Kaoru gives his brother an unimpressed look, one hand reaching behind him in search of another pillow. Hikaru notices, but he accepts the oncoming blow to his face with a laugh. Kaoru finds himself laughing, too, a feeling of relief that he wasn’t even aware of needing having settled in him at his brother’s words. “Thanks, Hikaru,” Kaoru says softly, a small but genuine smile lighting up his face. “For all that you’ve been an ungrateful, bratty hyena that’s plagued me all throughout my formative years, you’re actually a pretty good brother when you want to be.”

“Oi, what was being born the older twin for, if not to use being infinitely older and wiser than you to set you straight,” Hikaru says haughtily. “And for all that you’ve been an ungrateful, underhanded little weasel that wants to ditch me for some stupid, glasses-wearing geek, I’m not totally ashamed to have you as my little brother.”

The twins grin at each other, both faces reflecting the other’s thousand-watt Hitachiin smile. However, being the older and infinitely wiser terror that he is, Hikaru can’t help but break the peaceful moment. “Just wait until Tamaki finds out about your crush on his best friend, though,” he snickers. Kaoru wails in mortification at the thought, which only causes Hikaru’s grin to grow. “That idiot is good for three things: overreacting, making plans to meddle in other people’s business, and doing both at the same timeー especially when romance is involved.” 

Kaoru resumes hitting Hikaru with the closest pillow, and before long the twins are in an all out war. Kaoru knows that there’s truth to his brother’s words, but he also knows that it should take a while before the famously obtuse host club King catches on. Besides, he’s barely begun thinking about how he’ll ever manage to tell Kyouya about his feelings; their overdramatic King and his propensity to meddle is the last thing on Kaoru’s mind.

_____________________________________________________________________________

He can hardly contain the dreamy sigh that threatens to escape his lips at the sight of the host club’s Shadow King dressed in the clothes that Kaoru has specifically designed for him.

Kaoru had run himself ragged ensuring that all of the club members would look particularly swoon-worthy in their newest club outfits, but he spent an especially long time ensuring that Kyoya’s ensemble would emphasize the corded musculature in his senpai’s long legs, the subtle impression of his toned abdomen, the width and strength of his broad shoulders…

“In the past, you’ve created some inordinately beautiful designs for the sake of acquiescing to Tamaki’s half-wit schemes, Kaoru. However,” Kyouya intones coolly, as though Kaoru isn't holding his breath and hanging onto every word, “your most recent set of designs is nothing short of truly exceptional. Hitachiin Yuzuha must certainly be proud.”

Kaoru hurriedly turns away to hide his grin, occupying himself with making slight alterations to the hemline in his hands. “That means a lot to hear you say, senpai,” Kaoru says softly, trying to put a dimmer on the enthusiasm in his voice. “I’m glad that you approve of my work for the club...” 

The dark-haired upperclassman is still surveying his visage in the mirror before him, and Kaoru is almost giddy with the sense of accomplishment that comes from having truly impressed his usually stoic senpai. In all honesty, it hadn't even crossed Kaoru's mind to tell his mother about his most recent foray into costume design; there was only one person he was interested in trying to impress.

The other club members have already tried on their respective costumes, with Kaoru placing pins in the fabric and marking down notes in his sketchbook as to what small adjustments he needs to make before the upcoming Alice in Wonderland themed tea party. Hikaru had been a stubborn little brat about the design of his costume, deliberately working on Kaoru's nerves just because he could, but all the other club members seemed fairly excited about their own pieces. Even Haruhi, ever the reluctant heroine, made it a point to compliment Kaoru on the feminine yet comfortable design of her Alice-inspired dress.

Only Kyouya remains with Kaoru in the club storage room, the other members having long since left their two classmates to their respective club-related duties. Tamaki had tried in vain to convince Kyouya to ditch the clubroom and accompany the youngest Suoh to a commoner’s supermarket, but no amount of prancing and pontificating had swayed the Shadow King. Tamaki had left the clubroom practically in tears, wailing about betrayal between best friends as he stormed out the door. Speaking of which...

“Um, senpai,” Kaoru starts in realization, a sense of familiar dread creeping up on him as he thumbs through stacks of neatly folded costumes. “Did Tamaki senpai forget to take off his costume before leaving again?” 

A familiar, long-suffering sigh greets him in response. Kaoru looks up to see that Kyouya has already begun to furiously type on his phone in a manner that is somehow both frantic and threatening. “My apologies, Kaoru,” Kyouya says evenly, not even looking up from the screen as he continues on in that placid tone. “Your designs are too beautiful to be left in that idiot’s care without direct supervision. I’ll ensure that he returns his costume to the clubroom by first period tomorrow at the latest.” And so saying, Kyouya leaves the storage room for the changing rooms outside, unknowingly leaving an increasingly nervous Kaoru on his own. 

Kaoru knows, in his heart of hearts, that the extent of his feelings for his senpai can’t possibly be contained or satisfied by things as they are now. There are so many things that Kaoru has left unsaid between them, and while the younger Hitachiin has kept a lot of unvoiced thoughts and desires buried away inside of himself, he doesn't want his feelings for his Kyouya senpai to be one of them.

“Kyouya senpai,” Kaoru begins slowly as the dark-haired upperclassman returns to the room, false calmness prompting him to adopt an unfamiliar tone. “There is actually something that I wanted to talk to you about…”

Kyouya returns his crisply folded costume to the table between them, retrieving his black notebook from the far end and opening it even as he raises his sharp gaze to focus on Kaoru’s lightly flushed face. “Yes, Kaoru?” he enquires gently, eyes flitting back down to the notebook as he waits for Kaoru to speak.

“Th- Thank you. For what you did for me, after club the other day, I mean,” Kaoru manages to choke out, wincing at his own flustered words even as he tries to recover. “I really appreciate that you were so concerned for me... Even Hikaru was touched!”

Kyouya makes heart-stopping eye contact with the tongue-tied twin, the corner of his mouth lifting slightly as he nonchalantly pushes his glasses up with the quirk of an elegant wrist.

“Kaoru, I hardly did anything worthy of your praise, nor of Hikaru’s. You were feeling unwell; I merely meant to ensure that you were returned to your brother as promptly as possible.” Kyouya’s gaze is once again directed downwards towards the pages of his notebook. Nonetheless, Kaoru can't help but think that his tone seems indulgent, even fond. “Besides,” Kyouya continues evenly, pen quickly jotting down notes as he speaks, “regardless of what my image in the club might entail, I’m not above temporarily displacing my ‘cool type’ demeanor.” He closes the book now, using one hand to crisply snap its pages shut as he lifts his gaze to Kaoru’s face. 

As always, his expression is difficult to read. And yet, Kaoru can't help but think that this is the closest he’s ever seen to a look, however subtle, of exasperation on his senpai’s face. His eyes, however, are fixing Kaoru in place with a gaze so openly and tenderly fond that they seem to dare Kaoru to wake up from whatever daydream he must certainly be experiencing right now.

“I should think,” Kyouya begins evenly, still pinning Kaoru in place with his gaze of fond exasperation, “that you would know by now, Kaoru, that I care about you too much to ever hope to hide anything from you.” Kyouya speaks softly, so softly that it resounds in the room louder than if it were a shout. “My specific fondness for you was never intended to be a secret.”

And with that, Kyouya aims the most powerful weapon in his arsenal directly at Kaoruー a small, genuine, honest-to-god smileー and then walks out of the room, leaving Kaoru alone with nothing but the sound of retreating footsteps and his own racing heart.

_____________________________________________________________________________

“You didn't do it, did you.” It isn't a question, and Kaoru doesn't know if it's his twin’s natural brattiness or the grating compression of his voice over the phone, but Kaoru gets the sudden urge to stop pacing the length of the storage room just so he can throw the cellphone to the ground and stomp on it.

“No, I didn't say anything!” Kaoru yells into the speaker, throwing his free hand into the air as he starts pacing even harder. “How could I?! I mean, I was about to tell him,” Kaoru defends vehemently, already anticipating what his twin is going to say, “We were alone, we had gone over everything else we needed to talk about, and I stopped him just before he was about leave so that I could tell him, butー Butー!”

“No ‘buts,’ Kaoru!” Hikaru roars into the phone, his most menacing older brother tone locked and loaded and ready to engage. “This is Kyouya we’re talking about hereー there's never gonna be a convenient time to tell him, so stop waiting on one!” Kaoru exhales a ragged breath, absolutely hating that his twin has chosen today of all the previous days in their shared existence to finally start making sense. “And honestly, Kaoru, if you can't find the nerve to even bring it up to him, there's no way you could actually date him!”

The line falls silent, Kaoru too stunned to speak and Hikaru too out of breath to continue.

“You’re right,” Kaoru says finally, his tone subdued and voice quiet as he fights back feelings of despair. “I want to tell himー I want to be with him, more strongly than I can remember wanting anything before…” His eyes feel hot suddenly, and he realizes abruptly that his vision is blurring over from brimming wetness at the rims. “But it’s hopeless. I can't even bring myself to tell him about my feelings for him…”

Hikaru begins to protest, but Kaoru lowers the phone from his ear and ends the call. 

Kaoru doesn't think he's ever known pain like this before: The feeling of discovering passion for another person for the first time in his lifeー only to realize that the one thing he wants more than anything else he's ever wanted is just a fabricated, faraway daydream. 

He’ll have to keep bearing this painful love all alone. 

Kaoru brings a hand up to dab at his eyes, only to snap his head around at the clatter of footsteps on tile ringing out behind him. He turns to face the door to the storage room, only to see the host club King leaning against the doorframe and panting as though he’s run a mile. 

“Kaoru!” Tamaki calls out, still breathing heavily from his sprint as he urgently steps closer to the shocked underclassman. “What you said on that phone callー Is it true?!”

The phone slips entirely out of Kaoru’s hand, falling against the hard tile as his entire body goes rigid in alarm. If Tamaki had heard everything that Kaoru had said on his end of the line, then that means…

“Are you really considering confessingー to another man?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> True story: Every time I saw that one of you lovely readers decided to comment on this story, I opened up the document and added more and more text to the second and third chapters. This chapter is a little over twice as long as the first, and the third chapter is now about halfway written. This is the effect that your reviews have on my writing, so thank you! It inspires me to write more than anything else does!


	3. This is Just Amazing!

“Tー Tamaki senpai,” Kaoru breathes out haltingly, mind still struggling to catch up to the reality of his situation. “I didn't realize you wereー I thought you already went home...” 

“I did! ーAt least, I tried to, but I only got as far as halfway to the estate before Kyouya started sending me all of these cryptic messages about what he would do to me if I didn't return my costume in perfect condition!” Tamaki holds up his phone in evidence, and Kaoru can indeed see multiple thick text blocks of ominous looking kanji displayed across the screen. “He said that I should return it to the club room tomorrow morning, but I was hoping that if I turned around right then, I’d have time to catch you and return it before you left,” he explains in a rush. 

“But enough about that!” Tamaki exclaims suddenly, physically throwing his phone to the wayside. It skitters across the tiled floor and hits the wall, landing quite close to Kaoru’s own cruelly discarded phone, but Tamaki maintains intense eye contact with Kaoru despite the clatter. Like a man possessed, he brings his arms up and grips Kaoru’s shoulders with both hands. “It’s clearly past time for us to have a serious talk, Kaoru! The fact that you're having such strong feelingsー The urge to confess to another man, no less! Thisー this isー isー"

Kaoru braces for impact, eyes firmly averted to the floor as he avoids the wide eyes and intense gaze of the short-circuiting blonde before him. This is exactly why Kaoru had avoided bringing up his not-quite-a-secret to anyone but Hikaru; it’s anyone’s guess how his blond senpai’s sheltered upbringing and staunchly traditional romantic leanings will color his view of Kaoru’s confession.

“This is ー just amazing, mon fils! Exactly what the club and moi need to figure out the best way to keep our princesses happy!”

Kaoru slowly lifts his gaze from the shining tile only to find himself drowning in two huge pools of indigo gleaming joyfully out of that familiarly grinning face. Well, this isn’t quite what Kaoru had expected.

“Certainly, I would have preferred if you had come to talk to me about this directly! Having to find out through complete accident that my youngest son is experiencing the passions of star-crossed love with another boy is simply not the way that Daddy would have wanted this to go! But I’ll forgive you, Kaoruー firstly, because I understand that it can be scary to talk about these things even with moi, and secondly, because you’re my favorite child! Well, my favorite non-daughter child,” the blonde corrects hastily, flipping golden hair out of his eyes as he squeezes Kaoru’s shoulders reassuringly. “My favorite son! You’re definitely better than your good-for-nothing brother Hikaru!” 

“On that, we can agree,” Kaoru sighs, his breath rushing out of him almost involuntarily as he relaxes into the warmth of Tamaki’s hands. “I’ll admit that I was pretty nervous about your reaction, senpai, and I’m glad that you’re not upset at me about keeping this a secret…” Kaoru tries to force himself to say ‘from daddy’, but the words physically get stuck in his throat and refuse to come out. His relief at Tamaki’s instant acceptance of this knowledge is prompting him to be indulgent, but he’s already dealing with enough as it is and calling the flamboyant host club King his dad feels like a slippery slope that could easily start an avalanche of sheer stupidity. “...Um, secret from you, senpai. I mean, I definitely didn’t think you would be so excited just because I feel this way for another boy.”

“How could I not be?!” Tamaki practically screeches, throwing his hands up in utter mystification. Kaoru takes the moment to roll his shoulders, glad for the reprieve from that iron grip. “It’s not every day Daddy discovers that his youngest and only good son is in love! The fact that you feel for another boy so whole-heartedly just means that you’re even more suited to the host club than I could have ever hoped! In fact, in light of my sudden enlightenment as to your recent romantic proclivities, I feel that there is grounds for a promotion! From mere host club member and one half of a morally ambiguous duo, to the King’s personal consultant on all future club activities! As a young man in love, you can help us maximize the charm and appeal of our members to the maidens in ways that not even daddy himself can!”

Kaoru’s head is spinning from trying to take in all of his blonde senpai’s increasingly puzzling ideas. He had been crying not too long ago, but all he can feel now is the onset of a headache. He shakes his head once to clear it, then again for good measure, and a third time to express his confusion in the only way he can amidst Tamaki’s long-winded rambling. 

“But, Tamaki senpai!” Kaoru cuts in, unable to follow his excited upperclassman’s logic. “I’ve really only felt this way for one person in my whole life. And even though I feel so strongly about himー even though I’ve never felt for anyone else what I feel for himー I can't even tell him how I feel,” Kaoru admits haltingly. “The reality is that I’m too scared of losing himー of being rejected by him, or even of having him cut me out of his life completely. The only romance here is also a tragedy,” he intones softly.

Kaoru only realizes his mistake when he looks up to see stars in Tamaki’s eyes, the early brimming of moisture around the rims a sure sign of how utterly moved his romantic senpai has been by his admission.

“Oh, Kaoru, my sweet, naive young protege!” Tamaki croons in delight, hands clasped together in front of his chest as he smiles brightly. “To go your whole sixteen years of life and only ever have eyes for your beloved! Oh, and I bet it was love at first sight, too!” he sighs dreamily, gaze turned completely inward as he ignores Kaoru’s disbelieving stare. “This is a classic scenario, a page right out of a storybook! No tale of romance is ever without its complications, Kaoruー and true love such as yours is often the most trying and arduous of them all!” Tamaki throws a hand over his heart and dramatically raises the other to brandish above his head, looking about ready to burst into song at the imagined beauty of the scenario. “And I, as an unquestioned expert in the realm of romance, can assist you in your journey to uniting with your beloved! Just as you, a young man whose life has been irrevocably changed by the blessing of a true first love, can assist me in perfecting the balance of the host club!”

A sense of numb resignation begins creeping over Kaoru even as he tries to protest; it doesn't seem like Tamaki is listening to him at all. “Senpai, I really don't want any ‘help’ with this! The person I like isー he’s not the type to be impressed by big romantic gestures at all! And even if I did accept your help, I don't think that I could do what you're asking from me, anyway, so there's really no point!”

“Nonsense, Kaoru!” Tamaki interjects with vehemence. “This blatant attempt at martyrdom in the name of protecting your current relationship with your beloved is indeed noble, but it won't get you anywhere in your quest for love! Furthermore, do you really expect me to just pretend I didn't see the tears in your eyes when you ended that phone call?” Tamaki takes a moment to come down from whatever feverish fantasies he had been weaving in his mind in order to step closer and lay a reassuring hand on Kaoru’s arm. “No friend of mine will resign himself to tears if there is anything that I can do to help him,” Tamaki says sincerely. “I mean that, Kaoru. It's not only the princess’ romantic interests that I’m interested in protecting. You deserve to be happy with your loved one, too.”

“Tamaki senpai…” Kaoru is taken aback by the host club King’s display of care and determination. He honestly hadn't expected that the blonde upperclassman considered him such a close friend. It brings a small but genuine smile to Kaoru’s face. He wants to accept his well-meaning senpai’s offer of help, wants to believe that everything will work out in his favor if he does, but...

“I... honestly don't think that I can face with him my feelings yet,” Kaoru admits quietly. “He’s my senpai and my friend, and I know that he cares about me because he tells me as much with his actions. Recently, he even told me as much in his own words.” Kaoru’s face burns as he recalls his Kyouya senpai confessing that his “specific fondness” for Kaoru was never meant to be a secret from the younger teen. Looking back on his relationship with his senpai now, he agrees that the usually stoic upperclassman’s open concern and even affection for him now seems all but obvious. “He’s open with me in a way that he is with very few people, so I know that he cares about me, but.... I’m still scared.” Kaoru hesitates as he feels the weight of his own confession sink in. “Because I love him. I don't want to lose him because he doesn't return my feelings in the same way.”

The warm hand that Tamaki is resting on his arm slides down to clasp Kaoru’s own, their fingers threading together as the blonde gives a reassuring squeeze. “And people call me a hopeless romantic,” Tamaki murmurs fondly. “It’s okay that you're scared, Kaoru. You don't have to act on your feelings right away; we can work up to it.” Tamaki’s warm, sympathetic eyes are looking at the underclassman so intently that Kaoru can suddenly see how being the sole focus of that deep indigo gaze can turn the club’s princesses into puddles on the floor. “You know, my maman always used to say that a heart in love is akin to a pair of brand new eyes. It really changes the way you see the world!”

Tamaki brings his other arm around to clasp the boy’s free hand, smiling gently as he does. The sensation of his blonde senpai’s hands reassuringly and firmly holding his own is causing Kaoru to feel emotional again, his eyes hot and chest tight as he struggles not to just completely fold against the warm chest of the boy in front of him. 

“If for no other reason, I’m asking you to humor me.” Tamaki says quietly. “I really would love your input on new events for the club, and spending more time together talking about your situation might allow us to work something out. It might not be quite as simple as using my encyclopedic knowledge of the quixotic to help you woo your mysterious crushー but I’m willing to help you, in any way you see fit. If you’ll let me.”

Tamaki goes quiet, his comforting hold on Kaoru’s hands slackening slightly as he waits for a reaction. 

Kaoru feels torn; he’s grateful for his blonde senpai’s comfort, but his situation with Kyouya senpai seems too bleak to warrant accepting a proposal that will benefit neither him nor Tamaki in the long run. There is, however, a truly tempting part of the host club King’s offer of a promotion: the possibility of using a higher position in the club’s leadership structure to spend more time with Kyouya…

“Tamaki senpai,” Kaoru begins hesitantly, “I want to accept your offer, but I can't promise that anything will work out. My feelings for my senpai, your desire to gain new ideas for the clubー even with the both of us working together, there’s no guarantee that things will actually change for the better.”

“Well, they certainly won’t with that attitude!” Tamaki chides. “You have dreadful confidence in your own abilities, Kaoruー but, no matter, we’ll work on that, too. Starting today, you are the official consultant to the host club King!” Tamaki announces with a flourish. “And I am your designated confidante on all affairs of the heart! Your own personal cupid!” 

Kaoru laughs lightly to himself, feeling warm as a sense of deep affection for the weird and wonderful young man in front of him wells up in his chest. “Okay, senpai,” he agrees softly. He brings both hands up to rest gently on Tamaki’s mid-back, a loose but affectionate hug. “Starting today, I’ll try my best.”

“All right then!” Tamaki shouts in delight, enthusiasm lighting up his indigo gaze as he eyes Kaoru with excitement. “Now that that’s settledー Let’s get to work!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter ended up being so monstrously long that I had to split it in half! You guys' overwhelming love for the first chapter ended up allowing me to make the second chapter 2x as long as the first (from three pages to six pages). Your passionate and kind-hearted reviews on the second chapter then got me so inspired that I originally planned for chapter three to be 2x as long as chapter two (over twelve pages!!). I decided to publish this first six pages I had written as just chapter three so that the story flows more organically and so that I could update sooner. Please continue to leave feedback if you are so inclined! You guys' comments inspire me to write more than anything else!!


	4. "Reciprocation"

“Butー!”

“No, Tamaki.” Kyouya doesn't even deign to glance up from his notebook as he issues yet another firm denial. “We are not having a Titanic themed club outing on a cruise ship.”

“But, Kyouya,” Tamaki whines in his characteristically theatrical way, “don’t you see the potential? A Titanic themed night on the water would be a legendary event for the host club! The flapper fashion and jazz music of the roaring twentiesー the quixotic charm of spending the night aboard an art deco ocean linerー the pure nostalgia of going back in time to celebrate for just one night, and to recreate the tragic romance between Jack and Rose!” Tamaki exclaims wistfully. “It wouldn't even need to be out over the open ocean, Kyouya! Just any lake or large pond with a few solid chunks of ice would do,” the host club King capitulates quickly.

“Absolutely not,” Kyouya replies immediately. “To begin with, the gilded age took place in the United States in the late 1800s, significantly before the sinking of the Titanic in 1912. Additionally, the emergence of the art deco style happens to coincide with the rise of flapper fashion in the 1920s, long after both of the aforementioned time periods,” he states acerbically. “Furthermore, the Ouran host club will not be recreating any aspect of the Titanic’s ill-fated maiden voyage, anachronistic or otherwise. Any such attempt would be tone-deaf and insensitive at best, dangerous and ill-fated at worst. The last thing this club needs is a female student throwing herself overboard while vying for your attention.”

“But the princesses wouldn't do that!” Tamaki rushes to defend. “Well, perhaps Renge wouldー but she only has eyes for Haruhi, and she knows that our darling natural rookie can't swim,” he quickly corrects. “And, sure, she might be tempted to encourage the others to try, butー”

“No, Tamaki,” Kyouya sternly interjects. “I refuse to be an accessory to manslaughter. At least, not for such a reason as this.” Kyouya sends Tamaki a sharp glare over the tops of his glasses, chilling the blonde to the bone and silencing him before he can protest. “Be realistic, Tamaki. The very notion of the proposed outing is born of a misplaced sense of nostalgia for an era that never truly existed. Furthermore, a romantic outing intended to recreate the circumstances of an infamous tragedy is utterly devoid of class.”

“Devoid of class!?” Tamaki explodes in a fit of indignant offense. “You completely fail to see the appeal of such a classic romantic archetype! Two star-crossed lovers, ill-fated though their love may be, able to enjoy one last romantic night together before they must be irrevocably separated by the veil between worlds.” Tamaki hugs himself gently, eyes closed as the theater of his mind stages a recreation of the movie with himself and Haruhi as the protagonists. “It’s the same Shakespearean dynamic that lends such bittersweet beauty to the tale of Romeo and Juliet! Kaoruー you understand affairs of the heart! Certainly, you can see the appeal of a romantic, grande fête on the Titanic, right?”

Kaoru’s head pops up as he feels the weight of Tamaki’s large puppy dog eyes pinning him in place. He had been able to avoid having to comment on the content of any of Tamaki's proposals in this meeting so far, Kyouya's quick and firm rebuttals making easy work of dismantling the blonde upperclassman’s fantasy-fueled ramblings. However, caught between Tamaki’s wide eyed hopefulness and Kyouya’s challenging gaze, he has the sudden sense that expecting the remainder of the meeting to pass uneventfully really was naive of him.

“I think an outing on a boat is a great idea, Tamaki senpai,” Kaoru reassures in his most soothing tone of voice, not daring to look at Kyouya for fear of what expression he might be receiving from his dark haired senpai. “And an outing that allows our guests to travel back to another time period will be perfect for the club. But, don't you think there are a few problems with making it Titanic themed, senpai?” Tamaki’s gaze grows impossibly wider and distinctly wetter at the turn of the conversation, and Kaoru rushes to avoid the waterworks. “Not that a Titanic theme is bad! But, a theme like ‘pleasure cruise through the past’ might be even better,” he placates gently. “You would still be able to entertain the princesses on an art deco cruise ship with a big jazz band playing in the background. But the guests will definitely feel more comfortable being over water when we’re not talking about the tragedy of the Titanic sinking. And think of itー passengers who have a fear of the water or of being on large ships would never come if it were Titanic themed! But they might actually be encouraged to attend and even work a little bit on those fears with the host club encouraging them the whole time. And instead of your customers all fighting to be the Rose to your Jack, they could each experience a love story on the water,” Kaoru elaborates, feeling himself become gradually more enthusiastic. “It’ll still offer the princesses the opportunity to travel back in time, and we can combine all the best aspects of the gilded age, turn of the twentieth century, and the roaring twenties into the event. And this way, I’ll be able to design both a flapper outfit and an art deco gown for Haruhi to wear during the cruise,” Kaoru finishes confidently, sure that this will be the selling point. “With so much inspiration to draw from, I’m sure I can design some truly kick ass outfits for the club, and for our natural rookie in particular.” 

“Kaoru,” Tamaki breathes out shakily, eyes wide as he stares at the underclassman in awe. “That is a brilliant idea! A chance to entertain our princesses out on the still night waters, uninhibited by the constraints of the modern age as we charm our guests in a manner befitting the most nostalgic eras in modern history! You truly are my protege, mon fils! Oh, and I have the perfect inspiration for Haruhi’s art deco gown! I have some gorgeous fabric swatches that are totally ideal for this somewhere in the storage roomー Wait here!”

Tamaki rushes from the room, wildly muttering about satin, silk, and lace. Kaoru’s attention is only torn away from the blonde dervish by the crisp sound of a notebook snapping shut, and the familiar weight of the Shadow King’s dark eyes resting solely on him. 

“Kaoru,” Kyouya murmurs in his low, velvety voice. “Might I ask why exactly you have chosen this particular course of action?”

“What do you mean, senpai?” Kaoru asks in alarm, unsure of how to interpret the upperclassmen’s words. Kyouya senpai doesn't seem to be irritated with him, but Kaoru can't help but feel that he’s somehow imposing by inserting himself into what are usually meetings between only Kyouya and Tamaki.

“I mean,” Kyouya begins lowly, eyes bright with intensity as his gaze burns into Kaoru’s, “what on earth would compel you to willingly volunteer yourself for this targeted assassination of brain cells that Tamaki calls a meeting?” 

Kaoru wants to laugh, relieved that the Shadow King doesn't seem to mind his presence (despite not seeming to enjoy these meetings himself at all). His senpai’s gaze is sharp but not unkind, and Kaoru belatedly realizes that the upperclassman is simply curious and choosing to be upfront about his interest in the situation. 

It’s certainly reassuring that Kyouya is asking him directly; he gets the distinct feeling that if Kyouya intended to find out his motivations through more underhanded means, Kaoru wouldn't have a chance at keeping anything about his agreement with Tamaki a secret from the Shadow King.

“Tamaki senpai asked for my help in planning the club’s future events,” Kaoru answers plainly, doing his best to keep his tone as natural as possible. “He seems to think that the reason you downvote most of his ideas is that you aren't romantic enough to see their merit… Although to be honest, I don't really understand how he's come to the conclusion that I’ll be any more able to appreciate them, either.” He isn't lying, but even the knowledge that he is deliberately omitting information from his Kyouya senpai has Kaoru’s heart clenching painfully. 

Kyouya's lips quirk up a bit at one corner in what Kaoru can only describe as an unfairly attractive smirk. The contrast between his senpai’s delicate, fine features and his strong, sharp jawline regularly makes it impossible for Kaoru to focus on anything else. And now, with Kyouya leaning forward in his chair, hands pragmatically folded in front of him and resting on a temptingly sculpted and muscular thighー oh no no no, Kaoru won't allow his mind to go there right now! He internally panics at the thought that he may be blushing, then scowls to himself at the realization that if Hikaru were here, his brother would be laughing at him hard enough to trigger an aneurysm.

“I have no doubt that your input on club related matters will improve the quality of future events,” Kyouya states pragmatically. “The practicality and diplomacy that you displayed when negotiating with that idiot are a welcome change from the usual chaos and lack of structure in these meetings, if they can even be called that. He seems to both actually listen to you and trust your judgement even when it contradicts his own notions of romance, a feat for which I am truly envious,” the Shadow King admits, straightforward as ever. “I merely want to ensure that you are here of your own volition, not due to any imagined obligations to myself nor to the asinine child we call our King.”

“I don’tー” Kaoru begins in confusion, only to stop abruptly to fight off a surge of sudden panic. “What do you mean by that, senpai,” he questions uneasily, hoping against hope that Kyouya hasn’t been able to work out the situation so quickly. “I mean, I am here because Tamaki senpai asked me to beー but I don't mind, really,” he says a little too quickly.

Kyouya frowns slightly, and Kaoru takes a moment to marvel at how even that does nothing to diminish the older student’s insane attractiveness. The Shadow King leans forwards in his seat, the taut rigidity of his gorgeously muscled biceps and temptingly thick thighs apparent as he adopts a tenser posture at Kaoru’s display of discomfort.

“That idiot certainly did himself a disservice by not recognizing your potential to contribute to the planning of club events any sooner,” Kyouya clarifies evenly. “And I’ll admit that your efforts towards placating that overgrown child have been substantially valuable on this occasion, as it would usually take me far longer to talk him down from whatever idiocy he had been advocating for and force him to consider a compromise. After all, I’ll be the first to admit that I display far less tact than usual where our King is involved,” he confesses easily. “I only want to ensure that your efforts today are not a result of duress by that dimwitted simpletonー nor a result of any specific feelings of obligation... that may stem from my specific fondness for you,” Kyouya concludes quietly.

The air between them is still and silent, Kaoru quietly shocked and unable to immediately say anything. Technically speaking, Kaoru’s newfound presence in these meetings is actually due to his own specific fondness for Kyouyaー not that Kaoru will delude himself into thinking that his senpai’s “fondness” for him is of the same nature as what Kaoru feels for the dark haired upperclassman. However, just the knowledge that the Shadow King’s intense and serious line of questioning is actually his own way of ensuring Kaoru’s comfort after Kyouya’s confession of affection for him...

“I’ll admit that I’m happy I can take some of the burden off of your shoulders, Kyouya senpai,” Kaoru admits shyly. “And I’ll be glad if Tamaki senpai actually ends up feeling happier about the club events because of my input, too. But I’m here because I want to be, not because I feel like I have to be,” he professes softly. “Besides, senpai,” the underclassman adds lightly, an almost teasing tone to his voice as he smiles gently at the dark haired student in front of him, “have you ever thought that maybe I decided to get more involved in the club because I actually like spending time with you? I might even have a specific fondness for it...” Kaoru confesses quietly, his cheeks burning as he ducks his head to avoid meeting those dark eyes. 

“Do you now?” Kyouya's response is swift and smooth, the upperclassman barely leaving a pause after Kaoru’s words before replying. “Well, I can't say that I’m truly surprised.” Kaoru still doesn't dare meet his eyes, yet he can't help but imagine he hears the warmth of fondness in his senpai’s words. “Fortunately for myself, it wouldn't appear as though you had truly intended to keep your reciprocation a secret.”

Kaoru chances a glance upwards towards his dark haired counterpart, only to find Kyouya gazing at him with such warmth and affection evident in his dark eyes that Kaoru’s entire body feels suddenly aflame, nerve endings sparking with electricity as his skin is singed by staggering heat. There is so much that Kaoru still needs to tell himー so much that he is keeping secret!ー and the weight of words that remain unsaid between them feels almost crushing to the youngest Hitachiin. 

But the heady rush of endorphins prompted by that single tender look from his Kyouya senpai is making it impossible for Kaoru’s brain to form words, let alone communicate the depth of his devotion to the boy before him. The re-emergence of his blonde senpai from the storage room signals an abrupt end to their shared moment, but Kaoru never truly moves on from the image of that burning heat in his dark haired senpai’s gaze. 

The remainder of their time in the music room passes as though in a dream, with Kaoru only able to focus on the phantom remnants of residual heat that continue to burn him up long after the meeting is concluded and the three part ways.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I struggled a lot with feeling satisfied with this chapter!! It took me way longer to get it to a point where I felt confident about it... I now understand how authors feel when they publish a chapter but then leave an AN explaining that it's not their best. Regardless, I hope that you all have enjoyed it! I did work hard to get it to a good place, and I would love to hear any and all feedback! Especially if it's "I would like to see more of ____ in future chapters" or "I'd love to hear more about ____" in this story. I'd love to incorporate what you guys want to see! And hopefully chapter 5 will be easier to finish than this one (it already is easier to work on in general, so don't worry). As always, a big thank you to everyone who's reviewed in the past and who feels inclined to do so again in the future!

**Author's Note:**

> Okay so, this was really impulsive. But I realize I've never actually published anything I've written for these two, which is crazy considering how long I've shipped them! And I thought this would be a good project to just let myself get back to the root of messy, fun, unpretentious writing. Please leave feedback if you are so inclined!


End file.
